Enya - Anywhere Is

I love Hope NP!
Saturday was a tiring day for me.I slept at 12am & woke up at 2am.After that I couldn't sleep anymore no matter how I tossed & turn.I did all the daily things & realised I was late for the flag day.I reached the station at around 6.40am.Zejun called me while I was on the way & almost all the people didn't wake up or couldn't wake up.

Reached nexus at around 7.10am.I was the first to arrive.The person at the counter was still preparing the stuffs.I was like...err...weren't I late?Lol.But I was relieved.I waited for Augustine & Kelvin before we went to the exit of Somerset MRT station near the traffic light.They had alot more donations than me because I wasn't standing in the middle of the crowd but at the corner.I stationed myself near the duck & hippo tour there after wandering about in search of a good location.Peng Sheng joined me later.We had interesting encounters,for example when I asked one uncle if he would like to donate,he said "I have no hope".Peng Sheng had a similar encounter.The uncle he approached said something like we have no hope so we go hope church.Learnt alot about persevering...its like when we are sharing Christ.Some accept while others reject.Stood for almost 4hours so tend to want to rest a while in the middle.

I went home after accompanying them for lunch to rest as I was super tired.Thank God for that empty seat in the MRT.After that went to service.Met Xue Ping & Karryn neat wanton mee store & we went up together.Aileen gave me a disc before service started.As I was praising & worshipping God,God suddenly showed me a verse to affirm Aileen.During Holy Com,I told Aileen what God wants to speak to her (though I was pausing & stammering alot as I don't know how to start).I think she was quite shocked & full of anticipation when I said God wants to speak to her (She was in serious mode).Grace joined us in the middle of service.She sat beside me & really amazingly,I chatted with her more than usual.I'm really grateful!Sermon was long but alot of main things were emphasis which is good.

After service,we went to Meridien for dinner.Kelly,Karryn & I sat there waiting for others to complete their stuffs as we didn't really want to eat.After some time,Zejun came back & suddenly hand me an envelope.She said "Go buy food" & I already guessed that there may be money inside.I opened the envelope & I was stunned with the money inside.I mean...I really didn't expect them to bless me through this love offering!Totally unexpected!Although I was like...err...in "why does so many people seems to know my family situation" state (in a curious way).Grace asked me,Augustine also showed concern.

We went to tau huay while the CLs went back to their leadership camp.Alot of jokes were shared at there.As Xue Ping & I walked back from tau huay store (the rest were taking bus so they left by another way),we met Vincent,Zi Jie & Samuel.Xue Ping also showed concern for my family situation.She gave me a hug before I left.

Like what I said to Xue Ping: "I love (Hope) NP!!!"

Thank God for this family that He placed me in...with such loving brothers & sisters.I will use the money only when I needed.I will return the money as a form of blessing to NP.

2nd cockroach
All right...there's this one irritating cockroach that appeared in my room.One night (about 2~3 weeks ago),around 3+am,I was lying on my dilam (mattress),struggling to sleep.As I turn to my left,I saw a black shaped creature come out from the back of a file holder.That was the first appearance.I was so shocked & couldn't believe my eyes.I tried to scare it away by clapping my hand.It was effective,but it ran towards my dilam!I hit my dilam to chase it.After hitting a little while,I found it beside the mini rubbish bin which was near where it came out from & later went back to where it was.However I had a hunch it might come back again.Bingo.It came back.I clapped again,it sort of "jump" & went back to where it came from.I didn't have a peaceful sleep for a few nights.I also had nightmares during that time but not about the cockroach.My sister said she last spotted the cockroach at the toilet.

Second apperance:I went to the toilet at 3+am again.Before I stepped into the toilet,I spotted the blacky there at the middle of the toilet.I switched on the lights & there it is.Sign.Why did I keep seeing it.The first cockroach that I killed was in the same toilet as well.My mum saw me standing outside the toilet & I told her what I saw.She just told me to roll the newspaper & hit it & she went to sleep again.I did what I was told but I did not hit it accurately & it ran to the toilet bowl to hide.This cockroach is smart.It learnt not to respond even if it heard sounds but respond only when it was hit.I had a long fight (ok,around 30min) with it but gave up as it ran behind the toilet bowl which was super narrow & impossible to hit so I went to sleep.For the next few days,I always looked out before I stepped into the toilet.

Last appearance:My mum like to read newspaper & cut articles on my dilam so she would throw my blanket & pillow aside.Yesterday,I went to sleep at around 3am.I was still scared of the cockroach.After I removed the blanket from the floor,I saw the blacky again.It was at the corner.Why did it like to disturb my sleep so much!?I was angry with my mum too.Can't she put back the things she had thrown aside!?Its been weeks.I switched on the mini blue light to observe it & try not to wake my mum up (my mum & I are sharing the master bedroom).I went to my sister's room to tell her about the cockroach.I went back again & saw it moving!It hid under a few pieces of newspaper.I asked my sister if she has something hard that I can use it kill it.She gave me a box,believed to be thrown away by my mum soon.I went back to get ready to kill it.I was scared & trembling very badly.I kept asking God to give me courage to kill it.It took a while to prepare but took just an instant to kill it.I hit the area which I estimated won't missed as there was something beside the cockroach which may lead to failure in killing.I pressed hard even after I hit it to make sure I got it.I was still scared after killing it & took a while to calm myself down by watching Macross Frontier.

By the way,I am scared if cockroaches but its because they may crawl onto my dilam.Imagine yourself sleeping half way,felt something itchy somewhere & you check it out.To your horror,its a cockroach!Ewww~Cockroach...running through dirty places.I will freak out,man.If they don't disturb me or I saw them outside,I don't really care & I won't make a big hoo ha over them.

Its not that I did not find job...

A person who does not try to understand another person or what the other person has done or gone through has no right to criticise the other person...

A person who snapped before may realise that the patience has reduced alot...

The winner is the person who keeps the cool & calmness...

A mature person excercise self-control & controls emotion...


I want to grow the fruit of the spirit in my life.
God,help me.
Let Your will be done.

weeeek
1 week passed just like this...a week of sickness...haha.Continue from Wed's post.Actually,after I published that post,my fever returned...

On Thurs,my fever still had not recovered.I woke up early in the morning,went to toilet,brushed teeth,used the antiseptic gargle and finally checked my temperature.Went back to sleep.Kind of lame but the fact that I have awaken up,I want to do something to help bring down my body temperature.I thought the throat may be infected.Took a wet towel and put on my forehead and my mum saw it.She finally knew I was having fever.She gave me all the tonics and food to try to make me better.I was full for the whole day.My mum told me to see doctor the next day and she was grumbling about me falling sick.She said if I had my meals at home,I would not fall sick. =_= When I went to bath,I was shocked.My body is filled with red spots/patches.They do not itch or pain.They are just simply there.My fever also has "burned" my face.It is really hot.


On Fri,I dragged my dad to Bukit Batok Polyclinc.Waited a little while before I went in.The doctor was shocked when he saw my face.He asked if it is acne.I was like....err...yes,although I have acne problem but my face was quite clean with no pimples,but that shouldn't be the main concern.Didn't the nurse mention about my fever (maybe not)?They even took my temperature at the reception when I inform I had fever.Back to the consultation,I told him all the symptoms calmly and clearly.As he hears,he figure that I might have Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) so he asked me to go take a blood test.The person at the lab did a quick job but I have to wait for 2 reports to be out.First report took only 5min but for the second report,it would take 1 hour.Thus,I waited from 3.45pm to 4.45pm (my father went to buy groceries since he was bored).I was the last patient to go for consulation.He analysed the things again,prescribed medicine and referred me to NUH for further detailed checkup/bloodtest.My dad sent me to MRT station and left the groceries to me while he go and meet his friends.Called Zejun to tell her about my illness.Rui Hao also called me and had a long chat.I realised that even brothers knew about my condition.I only expect the sisters to know.Haha.Its ok.


Yesterday,we celebrated our beloved sister,Miao Xin's belated birthday.We got her a book and we wrote in the book.So funny.Aileen brought her out so that we have time to write and prepare the cake.I saw Sherlyn too.Pray that God will change her decision.Rachelle and Si Qing came to service!Si Qing has her O levels coming and Rachelle has her singing coming on 15 Oct too!We went home early!


Basically this is my (last few days of the) weeeek...

Sick
Wondering is it due to eating too much mooncake that caused me to get this fever...a fever that hit 39.6 degrees before.The fever started on Monday,just before I went out for CTM.I started to feel weird when I woke up that morning,my right shoulder was aching.I thought it was caused by a bad sleeping posture.The ache lasted quite long and it reminds me that whenever I have fever,I will have aches.I went to measure my temperature and yes,I have fever.I just went for CTM nevertheless.I didn't really talk much or contribute much as my mind was almost in blank and my head and eyes were uncomfortable.Got panadols from Kok Leng.Spent time with August,Aileen,Jos,Job,JieYing,Jeremiah and Jolene after CTM.I thank God that on my way home there were seats for me.I also thank God for the caring brothers and sisters.

Yesterday supposed to meet Zejun for shepherding in the morning but my fever had not subsided yet thus I did not went down.I felt bad as Zejun make the time to meet me despite her busy schedule but I could not turn up.I rested the whole day.Sleep and wake up...repeated throughout the day.Waste time...didn't like it.I couldn't even finish my lunch after spending 1 hour eating.Totally no appetite even though its prawn noodles.Similarly for my dinner...struggle to eat finish.My left eye was red even though I did not feel the pain initially.

Today I should be going back to company but my eyes are still sore,having running nose (running tap) and slight sore throat.I thank God that at least my fever is finally gone!After 1 day plus of fever.

I really want to thank all the people who showed concern to me through sms,msn...Thanks you very much.I appreciate your concern.

Void
Now I know the feeling of being void...the meangingless and purposeless feeling that man may feel and lead to the eventual sucide of some people.This fearsome feeling...a feeling that totally digs your heart out and let you feel so empty from the inside out...A feeling that really made you think "It's better off dead..."

I thank God that He is with me all along so that even if I had this feeling,I won't be overwhelmed and overcome by this feeling.For feeling is just feeling.I know that there is more to life for I have found my Father,my Saviour,my Refuge.